A while back a girlfriend of mine had an interesting discussion with a mutual friend of ours. She casually mentioned that she and I were single, I’m not sure how this came up in conversation, but that’s not the point. The point is he corrected her by stating that I was divorced. She asked “What’s the difference?”
Her point was that we are both at the same place in life; unnattached, ready to mingle, professional women with, most importantly, no kids. It wasn’t about the lack of kids necessarily, but more so the connection that the kids would create with my ex-husband. She figured since I don’t have to (and don’t) communicate with my ex for any reason that for all practical purposes I was single. Certainly, I had more in common with her than a single person with children.
He simply replied “but she was married”. You gotta love the simplicity of male logic…You really can’t argue with the facts.
Actually I agree with his logic, I am DIVORCED, thankfully divorced with very little baggage, but I was married and now I’m not and that’s the definition of a divorcee. This is not a fact I hide or am ashamed of and I make it a point subtly or overtly bring up in conversation with a perspective suitor at some point (that’s another post for another day).
My question is does the title make a difference in how one is viewed by the opposite sex? The male friend’s point was that although I’m a great catch 😉 some men would wonder what was wrong with me. His logic was most would assume
incorrectly that my ex divorced me (presumably for good reason) and deduce something must be wrong with me, because who would let me go? 🙂 My thought process is that everyone has a past whether you’re divorced after a two-year marriage or fresh off a breakup of an eight-year relationship. Everyone has had a relationship that failed, I’d be more concerned if you haven’t
To my girlfriends point about children, it is certainly not uncommon nowadays for people to have children that were conceived out-of-wedlock, so whether or not the were married to their baby mama/daddy they still have to deal with them on some level. So I did see her point that we were at the same place (relationshipwise) in life.
Basically I’m saying singles and divorcees can both come with drama, so isn’t it better to take it on a case by case basis? Do you have any preconceived notions about divorcees? Do you think its wrong for a single person to have a preference to date someone who is also single? Do you have any preconceived notions about parents out-of-wedlock? Does the number of kids factor into your thoughts? Do you think it’s wrong for a person to have a preference to date someone who doesn’t have kids?