I’m sure the few of you who follow my blog (thanks 🙂 ) didn’t appreciate my little footnote in my last post where I dropped that I have a boyfriend. Those of you who follow me on twitter got the news a little earlier and I’d assume you too were surprised when I mentioned I was “boo’d up” a couple of months ago. LOL I understand the confusion, because HECK I’m confused myself. “How did this happen?!” you may ask as I ask myself. Especially you long-time ThisIsTip readers, who know about my off and on man cleanses over the last year or so.
I first mentioned Mr. Off Limits in Out of the Blue and then again in Your Ex’s Friend. Still I’ll give you a short intro to the “grayness” which is Mr. Off Limits and I. A recap… Mr. Off Limits is a friend of a guy I used to hang out with, 90% of our friendship happens on Facebook where we
sickeningly flirt on each others wall, most of our mutual friends think we’re an item, we’ve been asked when are we going to stop playing and hook up, and prior to this trip we’ve never spent ANY time alone together. I’ve always thought we were playing with our flirting. For example, “our song” (currently) is Lupe’s “Outta My Head” so he may post on my wall “girl I wantcha to know, I can’t get ya outta my head ;-)” and I may comment “you know I love it when you sing to me”. Sometimes it’s a bit naughtier like his status may read “I found a gray hair” and I’ll comment “where? ;-)” He posted a while back to my wall “will you be my e-girlfriend?” and I said yes so we are officially e-boos. lol Still with the exception of a few parties, since we’ve never spent any real-time together we seemed to just be eflirting . Queue this Labor Day weekend.
So if you read my post on Wednesday about The Man Hunt. You know that I attended a singles event last weekend and you also know that I participated in a panel discussion, called “The 3 stools”.
The 3 stools started with three women being selected from the crowd, one in her 20’s, I was
forced selected to represent for the 30s and another in her 40’s. The guest expert Charmaine led the Q&A starting with the by questioning the women, allowing the crowd to comment as well. A short intermission followed and the stools were swapped out for 3 men and another discussion ensued.
Sadly because I waited nearly a week to write this post I’ve already forgotten some of what was discussed, but I did leave with some questions that I like to pose to you.
As I was reading a post by WiseDiva (AJC Relationships/Dating Blogger, her opening statement reads “I am fully aware that I can be a hopeless romantic at times.” Suddenly it hit me!!! One of the reasons I’m single may be because I want to be romanced, courted, wooed. Basically I have what I think so many women have lost….EXPECTATIONS. Yeah I said it, I have expectations, it’s NOT a dirty word.
So I meet up with a guy I met in the grocery store a couple of days ago for the first time.
The location: Starbucks
The time: a weeknight
The conversation: light and free flowing
The expectations: low
All in all it was a great first “meeting”, it was short and simple, the discussion was light, the conversation flowed effortlessly, laughs were shared. The only thing was I left sorta “ehh”. I mean I’ll definitely go out with him again, but I’m not exactly waiting for him to call. Most of you are probably saying “Whats the problem?”…
all singles, sometimes I think about giving up on a dating and relationships. Mainly Partly because I’m a realist masquerading as a cynic who’s really an optimist, which basically means that I know I’m gonna date even though I assume it won’t work all the while secretly hoping this time is different. (YES I know this is a terribly conflicting approach, alas the life of split personality gemini.) Though this is true, I think it has more to do with the fact that I attract crazies!!! Why I attract crazies is a whole ‘nother post for another day. Sadly this isn’t a new trend, way back in high school a couple of friends and I named ourselves TBMs (trifling brotha magnets), so this is an ongoing problem.
This week I want to focus on three crazies I’ve meet over the last couple of years.
Maybe its just me but as a
single, oops sometimes I forget divorced woman over 30, the question that irks me the most* is “WHY ARE YOU SINGLE?”
Has this ever happened to you? You are out at a happy hour, get together, football game, house party, etc…you strike up a conversation with a guy, y’all are hitting it off and here it comes…he asks, “Why are you single?”. What about on the first “date”, things are going well, you find you have mutual interests, likes and backgrounds,etc… then BAM he hits you with “WOW you’re a great lady, why are you single?”.