I’m sure the few of you who follow my blog (thanks 🙂 ) didn’t appreciate my little footnote in my last post where I dropped that I have a boyfriend. Those of you who follow me on twitter got the news a little earlier and I’d assume you too were surprised when I mentioned I was “boo’d up” a couple of months ago. LOL I understand the confusion, because HECK I’m confused myself. “How did this happen?!” you may ask as I ask myself. Especially you long-time ThisIsTip readers, who know about my off and on man cleanses over the last year or so.
So yesterday on the Tom Joyner Morning Show Paul Carrick Brunson, the real life Hitch, issued a challenge to all women. The challenge…to ask out 10 men by January 1st. On the surface this seems easy enough and a nice challenge to help women break out of their shell and approach men.
So I wrote awhile back about three guys who were the exception to my mancation, which I’m failing at miserably BTW, and I thought I should give an update on all of them. I know you care. I’ll admit this post was really sparked by the weekend I spent with Mr. Off Limits but there actually been some going-ons with all of them.
July has been a really great month, every weekend there’s been something to look forward to or a pleasant surprise. And the month is still going strong because a good friend of mine is having a cookout this weekend. You may say, “ehh, it’s the summer there’s a cookout every weekend” but really her cookouts are the best. She has a knack for throwing a great shindig, everyone has a blast, she usually has to put people out! There’s food, drinks, games, music, friends, family and stories that are retold for years to come.
So as you can tell I’m looking forward to it. There’s only one thing I’m worried about…I’ve invited Mr. Off Limits AND Mr. Big/The Crush (two of the guys from my termination clause). This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to most, but for me it is. See I never learned to juggle….men that is
or objects for that matter. Some women, like my girlfriend, are experts at it. That’s one of the reasons she’s a great host, she knows how to juggle the food, the drinks, the people, etc… While I’m great at multitasking in some areas, I can’t seem to apply it to men.
I’d wager to say that 99% of you would agree that you should never date your friend’s ex. You’d say things like “I wouldn’t risk my friendship“, “It would be weird” and “I don’t want my friends leftovers”. This is an unwritten but generally understood rule for women and I believe it applies to men as well (for relationships anyway, I think smashing your homies sidepiece is acceptable in man logic. Correct me if I’m wrong guys)
My point is we all know your friend’s ex is off-limits, but….what about your ex’s friend? Yes I’m aware that to my ex’s friend, I’m his friends ex, just work with me. Continue reading
When I originally decided to go on a man-cleanse I made an unspoken list of 3 men that would trigger the termination clause (thanks to @shonnerz for that legal-ese) of my self-imposed no dating contract. This list was akin to a married persons exemption list, the list of celebrities with whom cheating is allowed should the opportunity arise. Neither spouse is concerned about this list because the chances are slim that you will ever meet the beauties on your list and nil that they’d ever give you the time of day.
These 3 guys made my list because they all exhibit signs of he’s just not that into you, so I never thought they’d play a factor in my man-cleanse. The first is a long-term crush, the second a friend of a guy I used to “date” and the last is a fellow church goer. I’ve known the crush for over a decade and although he pops up from time to time his inconsistency has always implied that he never been truly interested. The friend of a friend and I are quite flirty on the interwebs but that’s where it ends, plus he’s all smiley faces with everyone, so my assumption is simply that he’s a flirt. The guy from church has been hanging around and making conversation for a few months now, but I interpreted his lack of action to take the conversation past cursory chit-chat as he is just a friendly Christian.
Less than a month ago I decided I was going to take a break from dating. When I first proclaimed that I was going on a man-cleanse (thanks VH1 Single Ladies for the moniker) I got several blank stares and “dating is so much fun”, “I enjoy men too much” comments, but it seemed like a great idea to me. I couldn’t think of anything I’d be losing just what I would gain.
What I wouldn’t actually be losing (that I feel everyone else thought I would) was having a fun time getting to know new guys, free meals, great sex, trying new places and trying new things. See I really don’t like dating, I guess I’m a relationship kind of girl (yes I realize this starts with dating). This is probably why I married young
not that that worked out . So reliving the first date convo isn’t interesting to me, I would prefer to buy my own dinner than to entertain bad company, I’m celibate and the guys I meet wanna go the same old places and do the same old things.
So this will probably be a short post. Ladies, we’ve all heard guys say that we pass over the good guys for the bad boys. I’ve always argued that this isn’t true. Still the fellas always insist that “nice guys finish last”
Well, I just got in from a first date with one of the guys I met at The Man Hunt. He seemed like a nice guy at the event; walked me to my car, saw me off and called to make sure I got home. We’ve talked a couple of times after that on the phone and the conversation was lacking. Still I thought it best not to write him off, so today when he suggested dinner I thought “sure, why not?”
So if you read my post on Wednesday about The Man Hunt. You know that I attended a singles event last weekend and you also know that I participated in a panel discussion, called “The 3 stools”.
The 3 stools started with three women being selected from the crowd, one in her 20’s, I was
forced selected to represent for the 30s and another in her 40’s. The guest expert Charmaine led the Q&A starting with the by questioning the women, allowing the crowd to comment as well. A short intermission followed and the stools were swapped out for 3 men and another discussion ensued.
Sadly because I waited nearly a week to write this post I’ve already forgotten some of what was discussed, but I did leave with some questions that I like to pose to you.
I made a decision to do more things (in general) in 2011. Each year I think of all the events, festivals, parties, trip, etc I miss out on. This is partly due to the fact that I just can’t be everywhere, but also due to the fact that I don’t make it a point to get out and try new things. Living in an urban environment often provides you with a plethora of entertainment options. As a result you either end up being extremely social by trying different events weekly or you find a few events you truly enjoy and you develop a routine. I tend to lean towards the latter, hence my deliberate effort to do new things in this year.
So last weekend I hit up a fairly new event here in Atlanta, The Man Hunt. The Man Hunt is the brainchild of the creators of PlayDate. The website describes the concept as “an event where singles meet up to enjoy quality conversation, cocktail and entertainment all while making genuine connections.” Now in the past I’ve tried to avoid these kinds of events. I’ve always associated a negative connotation to these sorts of singles gatherings (speed dating, matchmaking, etc). My thought was that they consisted of desperate women trying to find a man and men who know this and show up to take advantage. I mean, after all they called it “The Man Hunt”. What does that sound like?