So yesterday on the Tom Joyner Morning Show Paul Carrick Brunson, the real life Hitch, issued a challenge to all women. The challenge…to ask out 10 men by January 1st. On the surface this seems easy enough and a nice challenge to help women break out of their shell and approach men.
First, you’d have to agree that women should approach men in the first place,
which I don’t but that’s for another blog topic for another day. The issue I want to address today is that I seriously doubt I’d meet/run into/pass by or already know 10 men I’m interested in between now and Jan.1st. That’s more than 1 man per week and I am positive that I do not meet a man per week that I’m interested in asking out. Maybe I don’t get out enough, maybe my standards are too high, maybe I’m over thinking it, maybe I’m not paying enough attention to my surroundings…or maybe this really is a lofty goal for any woman.
Curious I turned to social media an I twitted and posted the following “Ladies, Paul Carrick Brunson issued the PCBchallenge to ask 10 men on a date by Jan. 1. Do you meet that many guys you’re interested in? Cuz I don’t” I received two responses that both really said the same thing. One response stated that they didn’t have to be marriage material and that the goal was simply to approach men not necessarily to get dates. The second said “He didn’t say you had to be interested in them. Just an exercise to get you used to approaching men. That’s the lesson. In the course of the exercise you may learn something about yourself and become interested in someone you may have passed on before.”
My argument is while I can see how this exercise can simply be a way to help a woman practice stepping out of her comfort zone to approach a man that she might otherwise simply hope would approach her, but why should I go around just asking random guys out? I have a feeling this isn’t what Paul meant but maybe I’m wrong. Why approach a guy if your goal isn’t to secure a date? Why would I “practice” on a guy I don’t like? What if I do and he says yes? now what? I tell him “oops, I was just practicing I’m not really attractive to you” o_O!!
No one really answered the real question which was…do you believe you will meet/run into ten men by January 1st that you would like to approach? The answer for me is still no. Maybe my life is more boring that I thought. Let me think this through… they say you spend most of your life at work and there are certainly no prospectives on my job (despite my industry being male dominated). Next the gym (well back when I was going)…truth be told there are plenty of fine men who workout at my gym, but I’d be asking them out based on looks alone…yes I know we all see looks first, but still it seems sorta vain, what if he ends up being just a stupid jock. Plus I want to work out while I’m at the gym I’m focused. Next errands (ie. grocery store, WalMart, mall, etc…) I seldom notice guys while I’m going about my day, I take full responsibility for this as I’m not observant and tend to be preoccupied with what I’m doing. Lastly, when I go out (and I do go out alone), I’m usually just trying to have a good time. Now this isn’t to say that I’m totally absent-minded I notice attractive guys here and there, but not enough one a week. Plus when I see these guys I usually think “hmm, he’s cute” not “hmm, he’s cute I wish I had the nerve to go talk to him“. I simply admire the eye candy and move on.
So I as question what I could do to expand my options of meeting the great guys that must be out there (although I’m pretty sure I still won’t be approaching them) I want to ask you ladies do you think you can find 10 men to ask out by Jan 1st, 2012? Guys do you really like it when the woman makes the first move?
If you want to learn more about Paul Carrick Brunson, the modern day match maker, and his holiday challenge follow him on twitter, friend him on facebook, like him on facebook , read his articles on essence or visit his website. If you want to accept the challenge you may also want to check out his article on essence.com entitled 6 Ways to Approach a Man.