July has been a really great month, every weekend there’s been something to look forward to or a pleasant surprise. And the month is still going strong because a good friend of mine is having a cookout this weekend. You may say, “ehh, it’s the summer there’s a cookout every weekend” but really her cookouts are the best. She has a knack for throwing a great shindig, everyone has a blast, she usually has to put people out! There’s food, drinks, games, music, friends, family and stories that are retold for years to come.
So as you can tell I’m looking forward to it. There’s only one thing I’m worried about…I’ve invited Mr. Off Limits AND Mr. Big/The Crush (two of the guys from my termination clause). This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal to most, but for me it is. See I never learned to juggle….men that is
or objects for that matter. Some women, like my girlfriend, are experts at it. That’s one of the reasons she’s a great host, she knows how to juggle the food, the drinks, the people, etc… While I’m great at multitasking in some areas, I can’t seem to apply it to men.
It’s really my girlfriend’s fault that I invited both of them in the first place. I had already invited Mr. Big when she decided that I should invite Mr. Off Limits. If I didn’t she said she would, so I did. She knows I’m interested in both of them and is convinced they’re interested in me. She insisted a little competition is healthy, but I’m not 100% that either guy wants to play. If she’s right and they are interested I have no idea how to split my attention between the two of them. I’ve never been good at that. How can I flirt with one in the other ones face without sending the wrong message?
Case in point the same girlfriend invited me to a get together hosted by her then-boyfriends friend a while back. They thought that the friend and I could be compatible and wanted us to meet. Being the host, the friend I was there to meet was busy and I ended up hitting it off with another guy. He made a comment about my shoes and we chit chatted until he had to leave. He asked me if I was going to stick around, I said yes and he said he’d try to stop back by. Well while he was gone the crowd thinned out and the host and I were able to get to know each other a little bit. When the other guy came back I had a dilemma… I couldn’t figure out how to play the both of them. I couldn’t exactly break away from the host by that point (I actually tried but I sorta got pulled back in), but i wanted the first guy to know I was still interested. I just couldn’t figure out how to express an interest in both guys. At the end of the evening the host asked for my number, and the other guy just left. The host and I dated for a few months, but I still regret not leaving with two possibilities that night.
Back to this weekend, Mr. Big said he’s coming but he has another commitment that day, so I guess he’s stopping thru before or after and Mr. Off Limits is still up in the air. If they both show, I don’t know how I would juggle them both. Yes, currently they are both just friends, but if my girlfriend is right and one of them steps their game up how do I welcome one’s advances without cutting ties with the other? I don’t want a repeat of the other incident. I think both would think that they are there “with me” although I’d probably arrive with Mr. Off Limits. So people would assume we’re together, right? So then when Mr. Big shows up what do I do? How would I introduce them? How do I split my time on the dance floor? What if one starts to get clingy to “piss on his territory”? If we play cards, whose my partner? What if one goes for a kiss goodnight?
Did I mention that they both live out-of-town?! That complicates things even more. If they both decide to come I can’t house them both. Mr. Big will expect to stay and I’ve sorta extended an invite to Mr. Off Limits. I need one of them to firm up their plans, so I can figure this out!
Why do I suck at this? Is this not as always as I’m making it out to be? I’m making too big a deal out of nothing, right? How can I make it clear I’m interested in both guys? If one guy steps up should I just flow with it?