When I originally decided to go on a man-cleanse I made an unspoken list of 3 men that would trigger the termination clause (thanks to @shonnerz for that legal-ese) of my self-imposed no dating contract. This list was akin to a married persons exemption list, the list of celebrities with whom cheating is allowed should the opportunity arise. Neither spouse is concerned about this list because the chances are slim that you will ever meet the beauties on your list and nil that they’d ever give you the time of day.
These 3 guys made my list because they all exhibit signs of he’s just not that into you, so I never thought they’d play a factor in my man-cleanse. The first is a long-term crush, the second a friend of a guy I used to “date” and the last is a fellow church goer. I’ve known the crush for over a decade and although he pops up from time to time his inconsistency has always implied that he never been truly interested. The friend of a friend and I are quite flirty on the interwebs but that’s where it ends, plus he’s all smiley faces with everyone, so my assumption is simply that he’s a flirt. The guy from church has been hanging around and making conversation for a few months now, but I interpreted his lack of action to take the conversation past cursory chit-chat as he is just a friendly Christian.
So imagine my surprise when as soon as I declare a man-cleanse that two of the three guys I’d grandfathered into
or is it out of??? this experiment have….let’s say…stepped their game up. First my long time crush not only pops up, but actually sticks around for a while. Then the guy who was just feeling around for months at church stepped up and quickly. Coincidently, I just saw the ex’s friend this past weekend and have invited him to a friend’s cookout this weekend so who knows?! Maybe he’ll show some interest. I was thrown because I’d written them off, but then again I wasn’t…because isn’t that how it always works? You make up your mind to give up something and you’re immediately tempted.
My first compromise was entertaining the crush’s calls and texts which eventually led to visits. As usual with him I’m not sure if this means anything. All I know is usually I receive an annual happy birthday text, followed by a possible whatcha doing this weekend? text, but this year the text/calls have continued (2-3x a week) for over a month. We’ve seen each other 3 times in the last 6 weeks (we live in the different cities) and he probably would’ve squeezed in another one but we mixed up some dates. This doesn’t sound like much but I usually only see him 1-2xs a year. In his case I clearly gave in because well…DUH I’ve been crushing on him forever (I’ll need a separate post to address this).
I gave in again when the guy from church finally asked for my number and suggested that we go out sometime. We’ve already meet up outside of church and have had hours of really interesting conversation im person and on the phone. He was going pretty hard with the texting until this past weekend, possibly because I was out-of-town? I felt the need to give him a shot because he seems like such a nice man and I owed it to a group of ladies at the church to give them a good story or two. I like that he’s pretty well-known around the church as a stand up guy. Plus he was just too sweet to turn down.
The ex’s friend really hasn’t stepped his game up, in that case I guess it was really me. He invited me to a party last weekend and I was more than happy to attend. I had a great time at the events, but I didn’t get to squeeze in any one-on-one time due to the group setting. Sadly I’m pretty sure he’s not that into me. Like I said I’ve invited him to hang out this weekend so hopefully I’ll get a better feel if he shows. Either way it was good to see him, he’s cool people and fun to be around.
The bottom line is I guess the man-cleanse is off, or at least delayed, for the time being to explore the possibilities of my termination clauses.
Why does this always happen? Is it true that you always find what you’re looking for when you’re not looking? Do men have some type of radar that lets them know when you’re about to be over them? Should I have given in? or should I have stood strong with the man-cleanse?