Less than a month ago I decided I was going to take a break from dating. When I first proclaimed that I was going on a man-cleanse (thanks VH1 Single Ladies for the moniker) I got several blank stares and “dating is so much fun”, “I enjoy men too much” comments, but it seemed like a great idea to me. I couldn’t think of anything I’d be losing just what I would gain.
What I wouldn’t actually be losing (that I feel everyone else thought I would) was having a fun time getting to know new guys, free meals, great sex, trying new places and trying new things. See I really don’t like dating, I guess I’m a relationship kind of girl (yes I realize this starts with dating). This is probably why I married young
not that that worked out . So reliving the first date convo isn’t interesting to me, I would prefer to buy my own dinner than to entertain bad company, I’m celibate and the guys I meet wanna go the same old places and do the same old things.
I realize that the problem is really me…I’m the common denominator. I’m the one who ends up out with the guy with nothing interesting to discuss, the one with no real job, the guy who tried to give me $3 to pay for half of my drink, the guy who told me successful black men marry white women because black woman will blow through a his money, the guy who asked me out but had a live-in
supposed ex-girlfriend, the guys (yes 2) who thought sexting dick pics was a good idea, the one who asked me to sext him and the guy that invited himself over after date #2.
My plan is to use this time to gain an understanding of why I don’t have better luck in dating. Why don’t I enjoy it? Truth be told despite my disdain for dating I’ve managed to only go on two “I wonder if there’s a window in the bathroom” type dates. A victory I’m told by many. Still the prospect of going out for a first time with a new guy very rarely brings any excitement. I need to decipher why I end up on a date with guys who aren’t worth my time…well maybe that’s harsh…guys that I couldn’t see ending up in a long-term relationship. I’m not sure if my judgment is flawed, my standards too low or if I’m sending out the wrong vibe, heck, maybe its all of the above.
That is my purpose for this break, I’m not swearing off men, I just want to I figured that if I spent some
more time by myself, not entertaining the thought of men, I plan focus on determining my top 5 must haves and nonnegotiables for a mate. I need to reflect back on why I entertained men I knew weren’t what I wanted. Basically I want to determine why I kept settling for less.
What do you think? Could you take a break from dating? Do you enjoy dating too much? What am I doing wrong?
If you follow me on twitter @tweetsbytip you know that I declared the man cleanse is already off. Stay tuned to find out why my man-cleanse was compromised before it even really began.