As I was reading a post by WiseDiva (AJC Relationships/Dating Blogger, her opening statement reads “I am fully aware that I can be a hopeless romantic at times.” Suddenly it hit me!!! One of the reasons I’m single may be because I want to be romanced, courted, wooed. Basically I have what I think so many women have lost….EXPECTATIONS. Yeah I said it, I have expectations, it’s NOT a dirty word.
I don’t know why I hadn’t realized this was the problem before, you know sometimes things just hit you at the weirdest times in the oddest ways. I really didn’t realize that I wanted to be romanced until I read Wise Diva’s words. Since I’m a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist, I tend to be complex; realistically I understand that chivalry is dead (or at least dying), the cynic in me believes morality is trying to beat chivalry to the grave, while secretly I wish that some prince charming will prove me wrong. Most of the time the realist and the cynic beat out the optimist, so I think I had suppressed my desire to actually be courted.
I really don’t think my expectations are extravagent…I just want a guy who’s honest, has manners, believes in God and actually obeys some of His teaching (hey no ones perfect), doesn’t think all women are out to get something, believes in most traditional man/woman roles, actually wants to court and get to know me (not just bed me) and most shockingly is willing to wait, not 90 days, not 6 months, but til marriage to get the cookies. OK that last one is a doosey in this day and age, I’ll admit, but still. My point is I’m not asking for a Ivy League degree possessing, 6 figure making, Idris Elba accent having, Ocho Cinco body looking, Boris Kodoe 5 language speaking, 6’3″ Adonis. Just a good ole country boy with a little city boy swag!
Some where along the line I think that we (women) have let too many things slide. I dunno maybe its just me and the type of guys I attract, but I seem to meet men that lie, lack manners, are CME* members, are as cynical of women as they accuse women of being, don’t even know the meaning of courtship, and think waiting past date** 2 to do so is insane. I think we’ve let them get away with thinking that they’re great for basically doing what they ought to. A guy who is single with no kids, a degree, a job, come common sense, his own car and place to live is no a catch. Why? I have all those things as well, guess what??? It’s called being an adult!! Get over yourself!
I’m aware that declaring these expectations, truly may result in my being single forever. When I say that people have a fit and think I’m all sad and depressed. Well I’d be lying if I said I’m not saddened but depressed, hardly!
What do you think? Have expectations been lost? Or on the contrary, are they set too high? What are your expectations for dating?
*CME= Christmas, Mother’s Day and Easter
**I use this term loosely is roughly translates to any time spent together and doesn’t necessarily involve any of the assumed activities; talking, eating, going out, movie watching