How to let my light shine?

This little light of mine, I

So I was spending the day with my mom last weekend. At some point during the car ride our conversation shifted to an uncomfortable conversation about relationships in which she ends up telling me that she thinks I’m single because my “light” is turned off.

First of all, I wondered how we got on me, we were talking about her friend who is desperately trying to lose weight and my mom thinks her main reason is to land a man (weight is not the reason she’s single but that’s another post for another day) Secondly, how sad is it that my mother said I keep my OFF light* on?

Isn’t your mother the one that tells you that you are great and the boys are the stupid ones for passing you up. (Well…not my mother she’s always been really honest with us. She starting crushing my dreams early when she told me I couldn’t sing after a neighbor friend and I recorded ourselves singing. To her credit I can’t sing, but it was still a dream crushed.)

I like to think that my light is on, but maybe she’s right. I’ve certainly realized post divorce that I’m not good a dating. However, I did think I was pretty decent at meeting people. I mean I think I’m approachable, sure I’m not the kind of person who just goes around smiling for no reason but I’m not mean mugging people. In my defense, I am approached while out and about, I’ll admit it’s not a constant stream, but I’m not afraid to admit I’m not a 10 and don’t expect that kind of following. But to her credit, a few guys have told me I seem unapproachable. So who know how many men I may have “scared off” by putting up my off light?

So I’m asking all you wonderful, outgoing people who keep your light on (like motel 8). How do you do it? What do you do to look approachable? Is is a smile? making eye contact? What is it! How do I cut it on? Also is there a way to be selective with this “light”? I mean I don’t want to be so approachable that every Tom, Dick and Harry decides they wanna talk to me. Sorry I’m just not that personable.

*for those confused…my mother says that we (women) have an on light that’s either off or on for potential suitors. I think most would equate it to being approachable or standoffish, smiling or frowning, sending come hither or get the EFF away from me, you get the point.


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