How soon do you know?

Coffee and convo...a good first outing

So I meet up with a guy I met in the grocery store a couple of days ago for the first time.

The location: Starbucks

The time: a weeknight

The conversation: light and free flowing

The expectations: low

All in all it was a great first “meeting”, it was short and simple, the discussion was light, the conversation flowed effortlessly, laughs were shared. The only thing was I left sorta “ehh”. I mean I’ll definitely go out with him again, but I’m not exactly waiting for him to call. Most of you are probably saying “Whats the problem?”…

Well usually I know right up front if I’m feeling someone are not. Of course I don’t know where it will go, heck if it goes anywhere at all, but I’m pretty good a ruling people out early. This goes back to my middle/high school days. I can remember my good friends urging me to give some nice guy a chance. When I would reply “But I don’t like him” they would say “how would you know? you don’t know him.” and I always closed with “I just know”. In the end they would shake their heads and give up. To their point I only had two boyfriends during my high school years but I liked them Somehow I just always had a gut feeling; a little nervousness in my stomach if I was feeling a guy and a definite sense of blah if I didn’t. There was an occasional case where a guy fell in the middle and could grow into a like or fall into the dreaded friend zone but those were rare.

In this case I just dunno. I don’t have any excitement but I’m not disgusted and maybe that’s the best you can hope for. Maybe I’ve just grown up. Either way I’ve just decided to be open and just let things work themselves out in all areas of my life.

So what about you? How soon can you tell if there’s some interest? first meeting? first date? If you don’t feel anything, do you continue seeing the person? Do you think that feelings can grow from total disinterest to like or love?


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